We can get you on the first page of Google!

*Sigh* Another day, and another email offering to get my business on the front page of Google. Today the email came through a form on my old eBay consignment business‘ website.  I decided to write back, you can see the exchange below:

From:  Melodie Merle
Subject:  Search Engine Optimization

We would like to get your website on first page of Google. All of our processes use the most ethical “white hat” Search Engine Optimization techniques that will not get your website banned or penalize. Please reply and I would be happy to send you a proposal.

My Response:

Hi Melodie,
I’ve really been enjoying your near-constant stream of emails about getting me on the first page of Google.  I design websites and am very skilled in search engine optimization, so I’d like to point out a couple things to you.

Your promise to get me on the front page of google is enticing, but for which terms?  If you had taken a moment to do some research, you would see that I am already on the home page for my company’s name. I am also on the front page for terms related to my offerings, and geo-modified searches.  Keyword research and understanding a business is the biggest part of offering SEO services.  If you think you can get me on the front page for the term “eBay”, I might be interested.  But you can’t, and I know this because….

…You can’t even get your own website on the front page of google for any significant terms, as evidenced by the fact that you’re spamming forms on websites to generate business.  Its funny that you use the phrase, “ethical white hat” in your submission to me, while simultaneously engaging in one of the least ethical practices on the web… spamming.

Anyway, I can appreciate the fact that the average business owner doesn’t understand SEO, as the most difficult part of my job is creating a transparent product offering that increases a business’ bottom line.  There are a lot of businesses like yours that are taking money from business owners that want to optimize their website, and not providing any real value. You, and others like you, are creating a very bad name for my profession.

That being said, please remove my website from your list of potential customers. However, if you want to learn more about SEO and how to get Google to drive relevant traffic to your website, feel free to get in touch.

We turn searches into sales.

-Pete Jewett

I should note that I’m rarely this rude via email, but if there’s anything I hate more than people stealing money from small businesses, it when they do it under the banner of my profession.